Dating After Divorce – 3 Tips For Successful Dating
Dating after a divorce can seem like a daunting task. If you have been out of “the game” for awhile, you might feel as if you’ve forgotten what to do. In any case, you are in unfamiliar territory if your life circumstances have changed. For example, if you have children from the marriage, how do you handle that? Do I tell my date about my divorce right away, and what is appropriate to say about it and when? Answers to questions like these must be answered by you based on values and particular circumstances, but it is a good idea to take a deep breath and embrace the process of figuring out how you will proceed. Here are 3 tips for successful dating after a divorce:
1. Take excellent care of yourself physically. Not only is this important for your overall health and increased body image, it is an important message you send to yourself and project to others when you clearly take care of yourself. Your mind and body states are also connected, so a healthy body will help support a healthy mind. So eat right, reduce highly processed foods, take vitamins and supplements as needed (a naturopath can create a personally tailored “supplement menu” for you). Many people can benefit from fish oil and a food based multivitamin. Exercise regularly after obtaining your doctor’s clearance, and enjoy the boost of endorphins that will elevate your mood.
2. Don’t rush into dating until you are ready. It is important after the demise of something as important as a marriage that you take the time to assess what happened and own your part in whatever occurred to end the relationship. Even if your part was picking a poor partner, this is important to look at not to condemn yourself, but to understand what happened so you don’t repeat any negative patterns in another relationship. A counselor can be a wonderful resource to help you heal form the past and gain perspective on what happened. A coach can be of help and support as you prepare to take the plunge and start dating, helping you identify your goals and strategies for attainment.
3. Spend lots of time with friends and family. The purpose of this is twofold. You receive the affirming messages about yourself from those who love you (which are helpful after the esteem knock that often occurs in a divorce), and it also keeps your schedule full and emotional support in place. This is a good thing, as it will allow you to feel more selective about your dating choices, rather than eagerly taking any invitation because your schedule is empty and you feel lonely. A person with a busy and full life on their own is very attractive, and you are likely to attract similar kinds of individuals.
Watch this video to learn how: